Sheba Blog

The Benefits of Relationships vs. The Illusion of Entitlement

The Benefits of Relationships vs. The Illusion of Entitlement

Relationships are one of the greatest gifts we experience in life. Whether it’s family, friendships, mentorships, or romantic partnerships, meaningful relationships add depth, joy, and support to our journey. However, there is a fine line between appreciating the benefits of relationships and falling into the trap of entitlement. Understanding this difference can lead to healthier, more fulfilling connections with those around us.

The Blessings of Relationships

Healthy relationships bring numerous benefits, including emotional support, companionship, personal growth, and shared experiences. When we cultivate meaningful relationships, we gain a sense of belonging and encouragement in both our triumphs and challenges. Relationships teach us patience, selflessness, and the value of giving as much as we receive.

Moreover, relationships provide a framework for accountability and growth. They refine our character, help us develop communication skills, and teach us the power of forgiveness and grace. Every interaction has the potential to enrich our lives in ways we may not even realize in the moment.

The Danger of Entitlement

Entitlement, on the other hand, distorts the beauty of relationships by introducing unrealistic expectations. It is the belief that we are owed something simply because we exist or because of our role in someone’s life. This mindset can manifest in many ways: expecting love without effort, demanding respect without earning it, or assuming others should cater to our needs without reciprocity.

The truth is, nobody owes us anything—except love, as the Bible reminds us. Romans 13:8 states, “Owe no one anything, except to love each other, for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law.” Love is the only true debt we have toward one another, and even that is a choice, not a demand. Real love is given freely, not coerced.

A Biblical Case Study: The Prodigal Son

A powerful biblical example of entitlement versus relationship is found in the parable of the Prodigal Son (Luke 15:11-32). The younger son demanded his inheritance, believing he was entitled to it before the appropriate time. He squandered his wealth on reckless living and found himself destitute. When he returned home, humbled and repentant, his father welcomed him with open arms, demonstrating unconditional love.

The older brother, however, exhibited entitlement in a different way—he felt he deserved more because of his loyalty and hard work. His resentment revealed that he had been serving his father with an expectation of reward rather than out of love. This story teaches us that relationships should be built on grace and gratitude rather than entitlement and self-interest.

Shifting from Entitlement to Gratitude

The key to overcoming entitlement is gratitude. Instead of focusing on what we believe we deserve, we should appreciate what we have been given. Relationships thrive when they are built on mutual respect, kindness, and a willingness to give without expecting something in return.

We must also recognize that people are not obligated to meet our needs. Every act of kindness, every moment of support, and every expression of love is a gift. When we shift our mindset to gratitude, we begin to cherish the people in our lives rather than take them for granted.

Biblical Teachings on Relationships and Entitlement

  • Philippians 2:3-4 – “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests but also to the interests of others.” This verse reminds us that relationships should be rooted in humility and selflessness rather than entitlement.
  • Galatians 6:2 – “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” This verse emphasizes that relationships are meant to be a mutual exchange of care and support.
  • 1 Peter 4:8-10 – “Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. Show hospitality to one another without grumbling. As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace.” We are called to love and serve one another rather than expecting to be served.

At the heart of it all, relationships should be about love, growth, and mutual care—not about entitlement or unfulfilled expectations. When we enter relationships with an open heart, embracing both the joys and responsibilities that come with them, we create deeper, more meaningful connections.

Let’s choose to approach relationships with humility, appreciation, and love, remembering that the only thing we truly owe one another is to love as Christ loves us.

Mentorship: A Bridge to Your Best Self

A hallmark of effective leadership is the ability to challenge one’s perceptions—including thoughts, feelings, and assumptions—and to be receptive to correction. This quality is not just a marker of personal growth but also a gateway to deeper understanding, authentic connections, and transformative change.

In a recent discussion, I found myself engaging with someone who held a starkly different perspective. This interaction became a moment of profound insight. During our conversation, I asked a question that has stayed with me: “Have you ever considered that your thought process might be flawed or fragmented due to limited experience or knowledge?” The intent behind this question was not to undermine their viewpoint but to spark a shared exploration of the blind spots that we all inevitably carry. It was a moment that challenged both of us to step back and reexamine our assumptions.

This encounter served as a powerful reminder of the invaluable role mentorship plays in our lives. A mentor is far more than a teacher or guide; they are a catalyst for growth. They serve as a mirror, reflecting truths that we might struggle to see ourselves. They encourage us to think critically, the courage to question our assumptions, and the wisdom to navigate beyond the limits of our current understanding. Mentorship offers a safe yet stretching space where correction is not a criticism but a gift of transformation.

Without mentorship, we risk becoming captives of our thoughts and perceptions. Left unchecked, these internal narratives can become not only limiting but also damaging—even detrimental—to our personal, professional, and spiritual journeys. Mentorship, therefore, is not optional; it is essential. It acts as a bridge, connecting us from where we are to where we aspire to be, and helping us to cross the chasms of doubt, inexperience, and uncertainty.

As we step into 2025, I want to underscore the critical importance of seeking mentorship as a cornerstone of growth. Mentorship is not a sign of weakness or inadequacy; it is a declaration of your commitment to becoming the best version of yourself. It is an acknowledgment that none of us has all the answers, but through the wisdom of others, we can find clarity and direction.

This year, I encourage you to actively seek mentors who inspire you, challenge you, and provide the constructive feedback necessary for your evolution. Choose mentors who embody the qualities you aspire to cultivate—those whose experiences and insights can illuminate your path forward. And if you find yourself in a position to mentor others, embrace that role with intentionality and grace. Understand that mentorship is not about superiority; it is about mutual enrichment, where both parties learn and grow together.

The ripple effect of a well-guided life is immeasurable. When you invest in mentorship, whether as a mentee or mentor, you contribute to a cycle of growth that extends far beyond yourself. In the words of Proverbs 27:17, “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” Let this be a year of intentional sharpening—a year where mentorship becomes the foundation of your personal, professional, and spiritual development.

In closing, let us walk into 2025 with a renewed commitment to seek out and embrace mentorship. Whether you are learning from others or imparting wisdom yourself, let this journey be marked by humility, growth, and a shared pursuit of excellence. Together, we can navigate life’s complexities with greater wisdom, clarity, and purpose. 🙏🏾💛

 

Wisdom: The Gift That Keeps on Giving

Wisdom is a transferable skill—a gift that keeps on giving. It transcends time, generations, and situations, becoming a lifeline when knowledge alone is not enough.

Recently, I found myself faced with a situation that, admittedly, I wasn’t completely equipped to navigate. The details shared with me were intricate and complex. As I sat reflecting, seeking clarity, I felt the Lord speak directly to my heart:

“Wisdom is transferable; but when both wisdom and knowledge are paired together, you become unstoppable!”

This truth resonated deeply. I realized that while knowledge is powerful, it becomes exponentially more impactful when paired with wisdom. Knowledge equips us with facts, information, and understanding, but wisdom provides the discernment to know how to apply it and when to act on it.


Wisdom and Knowledge: A Powerful Partnership

The misconception that knowledge alone is sufficient can often lead to frustration or stagnation. Knowledge without wisdom is like a beautifully constructed boat without a rudder—it may be capable of great things, but without direction, it drifts aimlessly.

When I revisited the discussion with the individual, I had so much more to share—not just answers, but solutions backed by insight. To my surprise, they agreed wholeheartedly with everything I said. Their curiosity about how I “knew what I knew” became a humbling reminder that true wisdom doesn’t always come from experience alone; it is often transferred through divine revelation, mentorship, or reflection.


When Wisdom Stands Alone

In many situations, wisdom can stand alone as a guiding light. It acts as a filter, separating what is essential from what is merely noise. Knowledge, however, cannot always stand on its own. You can possess vast amounts of information, but without the discernment to apply it effectively, its value diminishes. Knowing what to do is important, but knowing when and how to do it is invaluable.

For example:

  • You may know all the strategies for conflict resolution (knowledge), but wisdom teaches you when to speak and when to listen.
  • You might be highly skilled in leadership techniques, but wisdom allows you to discern which approach works best for each unique individual or circumstance.

Without wisdom, knowledge risks becoming stagnant—a well of information left unused.


The Application of Wisdom

Wisdom is actionable. It empowers you to apply what you know effectively, with precision and care. It is both a shield and a tool. Wisdom helps you navigate challenges, build meaningful relationships, and make decisions that have lasting impact. It transforms ordinary conversations into opportunities for growth and understanding.

And here’s the beautiful part: wisdom is not hoarded—it is shared. When we embrace wisdom, we become vessels through which it flows into the lives of others, helping them navigate their own paths.


Conclusion: A Timeless Lesson

Wisdom truly is the gift that keeps on giving. It is transferable, generative, and transformative. When paired with knowledge, it makes us unstoppable—able to discern, apply, and grow in ways we could never accomplish through knowledge alone.

So, as you face the intricate situations of life, remember this: pursue knowledge, but seek wisdom. Lean into the moments of reflection and prayer. Let wisdom be your rudder, your guide, and your voice in moments of uncertainty. It is a gift not just for you, but for those around you.

Because wisdom is never wasted. It is shared. It is applied. And it keeps on giving.


“For wisdom is more precious than rubies, and nothing you desire can compare with her.” – Proverbs 8:11

 

Check on Your Friends: The Life-Saving Priority We Often Overlook

Recently, I learned of a family friend who passed away alone in his apartment, only discovered days after he went missing. Some said they hadn’t spoken to him in over a week. The news hit me like a ton of bricks. But my initial response? Gratitude.

Now, before you jump to conclusions, let me explain.

I’m blessed with a handful of solid, close friends. These are people I connect with regularly—honestly, most of the time, it’s daily. That might sound excessive to some, but for me, it’s everything. Staying connected to my “peeps” is a non-negotiable priority. They’re at the top of my list, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

“We Haven’t Missed a Beat” — Really?

Not long ago, I saw a Facebook post where someone proudly shared how they hadn’t spoken to a close friend in months—sometimes years—and yet, their bond was “untouched.”

I’m sorry (but also not sorry)—I can’t subscribe to that mindset. If I haven’t spoken to someone I call a friend in months or years, are we really still friends? Whoever started that trend of “no communication friendships” needs a serious wake-up call.

Relationships aren’t autopilot machines—they require effort, consistency, and intentionality. Whether it’s family, friends, or romantic partnerships, connections demand work. There are no shortcuts. No ifs, ands, or buts. And I stand firm on this.

Not on My Watch

Here’s the thing: My friend could never be missing, let alone passed on, without me knowing for days or weeks. That simply wouldn’t happen. If I didn’t hear from them after one day, I’d be at their door. By day two, the police would be on speed dial. Because when it comes to the people I care about, I don’t take chances.

You know the saying: “It’s better to be safe than sorry.” That’s my mantra when it comes to my circle.

What’s My Point?

Check on your friends. Every day.

It doesn’t take much to shoot a quick text, make a phone call, or pop by just to say, “Hey, you good?” Those small gestures could make all the difference. You never know what someone is going through—or when your check-in could be the lifeline they need.

Let’s stop normalizing distant, inactive friendships and start prioritizing the people we love. Life is too fragile, too unpredictable, to wait.

So, go ahead: send that text, make that call. Be the friend you’d want someone to be for you.

đź‘‘ Sheba

If Your Future Self Could Speak: What Would It Say?

As we navigate life, it’s easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of daily routines. We often forget to pause and reflect on our actions and choices. Today, let’s explore a thought-provoking question: If your future self has to rely on what you’re doing now, would it be enough?

The Power of Reflection

Imagine waking up ten years from now. You look around and see the life you’ve built. Are you proud of what you see? Or do you feel a sense of regret for not taking action when you had the chance? This is where reflection comes into play. It’s crucial to assess whether our current habits, decisions, and goals align with our desired future.

Change can be daunting, but it’s also necessary for growth. It’s important to remember that every small step counts.

Consider the thrill of trying something new—whether it’s a new hobby, a different career path, or even a lifestyle change. Each choice can lead to exciting adventures and connections that enrich your life. Imagine the possibilities: meeting new people who inspire you, discovering hidden talents, or even finding love in unexpected places.

Passion is a powerful motivator that can transform your life. When you engage in activities that excite you, it often leads to greater fulfillment and happiness. Think about what makes your heart race—whether it’s painting a canvas, exploring new cultures through travel, experimenting with flavors in the kitchen, or pouring your thoughts onto the page in writing. By prioritizing these passions today, you are not just indulging in fleeting pleasures; you are actively shaping the life you want for your future self. When you invest in what excites you now, you’re not only enhancing your current happiness but also laying down a roadmap for a future filled with purpose and joy. Your future self will thank you for having the courage to follow your heart, knowing that those choices have led to a life rich with memories, connections, and personal growth. 

A Steamy Perspective

Now, let’s add a little spice to this reflection. Consider how the choices you make today can impact not just your career or hobbies but also your relationships. Are you nurturing the connections that matter most? Are you open to exploring new dynamics in your personal life?

Imagine investing time in deepening your relationships—whether romantic or platonic. Picture those late-night conversations that linger long after the sun sets or spontaneous adventures that leave you breathless with excitement. These moments become the fabric of your future memories.

Moreover, think about how embracing vulnerability can lead to deeper connections. Allowing yourself to be open and authentic can create an environment where love and trust flourish. Your future self will cherish these bonds, knowing they were built on honesty and shared experiences.

Consider the story of Ivah, who was once an avid gamer but felt unfulfilled in her career. She realized that her passion for gaming could translate into something more meaningful—game design! Ivah enrolled in online courses while working full-time and gradually built a portfolio. Today, she works for a leading game development company and loves what she does.

This reminds us that our current actions shape our futures. By embracing change and pursuing our passions, we can create lives that reflect who we truly are.

Conclusion: A Call to Action

So, I ask you again: If your future self has to rely on what you’re doing now, would it be enough? Take this moment as an opportunity to reflect on your choices and consider what steps you can take today for a brighter tomorrow.

Remember that every journey begins with a single step. Whether it’s pursuing a dream job, starting a new hobby, or focusing on personal growth—your future self will thank you for the efforts you make today.

Let’s commit to living intentionally so that when we look back in years to come, we can say with confidence: “Yes, I did enough.”

What will your first step be?

God can afford everything!

The Abundance of God’s Provision

A Lighthearted Revelation

Recently, during a heartfelt discussion with my mom, she shared a simple yet profound statement: “God can afford everything!” At first, I chuckled at the casualness of it, but as I reflected, it resonated deeply with me. This statement encapsulates a powerful truth that many of us often overlook in our daily lives.

In today’s world, it’s easy to become entangled in the mindset of struggle. Many people feel trapped in a cycle of scarcity and hardship, believing that these challenges define their past, present, and future. However, I want to encourage you to break free from this limiting belief. Life does not have to be a constant battle against financial woes or emotional burdens.While I appreciate a good deal as much as anyone else, it’s crucial to recognize that our pursuit of bargains should never overshadow our understanding of God’s abundant provision. The reality is that God owns everything. This truth serves as a reminder that trust is the foundation of any relationship, including our relationship with God.

Trusting in God’s Abundance

To truly believe that God can take care of us, we must first trust in His ability and capacity. Have you ever considered the fact that God doesn’t need to shop at your local discount or bargain store? He operates on an entirely different level—one of infinite resources and boundless love.Yes, I said everything! From the smallest needs to the grandest desires, God has the capacity to meet them all. This is not just a theological concept; it’s a practical truth that can transform how we approach our lives.

I invite you to empower yourself by trusting God for your life—your needs and wants. Embrace the idea that He is capable of providing for you beyond what you can imagine. It’s time to commit to being fully persuaded of who He is and what He can do in your life.After all, He can afford everything!

Scriptural Foundation

In Matthew 6:28-33, we are reminded not to worry about our needs because our Heavenly Father knows what we require even before we ask. This passage encourages us to seek first His kingdom and righteousness, assuring us that all these things will be added unto us.Let this truth sink in: when we place our trust in God’s provision and prioritize our relationship with Him, we open ourselves up to a life filled with abundance rather than scarcity. Embrace this mindset shift today and watch how it transforms your perspective on life!

I’m Blessed

 

Recently I had a conversation with someone who made an interesting comment about being blessed. The person said, “Hopefully, the Lord blesses me so that I am able to do a few things.”

Although I understood the sentiment, the God-presence in me, wanted to be sure to use this as a teachable moment. I have to admit I have a strong passion for bringing spiritual clarity and truth to the power of our words. What we say matters, and in most cases, it also reflects what we believe about God and ourselves. Please do not tell me you were just joking. Words have a huge spiritual impact.

Okay, so back to the story.

Immediately, I said, “Hold up!” As you can imagine, the mean side-eye and eyebrow raised. The word of God is clear that we are blessed because God spoke it. He declared it over our lives and then painted a picture of what some manifestations of His blessings can look like.

A prime example of this is in Matthew 5, we have known this to be the Beatitudes. In the eight examples of being blessed, possessions were not mentioned one time. What does that tell us?

It tells us that being blessed is first a declaration from God. We can have absolutely nothing, but because God said we are blessed, that is the bottom line. What He says, is what goes.

You may be a person reading this with a bank account in the negative but my friend, I want you to know that as a follower of Jesus Christ, you are blessed.

Please do not misunderstand what I am saying, God wants us to have possessions, He absolutely wants us to live a wonderful life. Take a look at Abraham. Genesis 22 mentions God speaking words of affirmation to Abraham, He said I will bless you and multiply you. Multiplication is an outcome of being blessed! Thank you, Jesus!

Whenever you have the time to read the scripture, take a look at it. The first area where God multiplied Abraham was in his offspring, those to who he was connected; his relationships.

Are you seeing this? Having good relationships is a result of being blessed. This is powerful!

My point: You are already blessed!

Now it is time for you to pray that the Lord multiplies you in every area of your life.

đź‘‘ Sheba

Seedtime And Harvest Time

I dropped my daughters off at school and then proceeded to walk home. This is my normal routine. As I walked, the scripture Genesis 8:22 came to me. It says, “As long as the earth endures, seedtime and harvest, cold and hot, summer and winter, day and night will never cease. The part that jumped out to me was the seed time and harvest. But it is not for typical reasons. There are times in our lives when we feel like we are giving, giving, and giving some more, but not receiving anything in return. Some have subscribed to the demand of reciprocity; if that is lacking, they walk away or fall back. They believe that if they are not receiving anything in return, then they should not give. Although I empathize with that sentiment because I understand its origin, it is carnal. It opposes the word of God. 

The Bible makes it very clear in this scripture that there is a time for everything, including the time to plant seeds even when there will be no immediate return. To make this point even clearer, know that seed time is not harvest time. There may be times in life when you are sowing seeds, or in more practical terms, you are giving and giving and giving some more. Yes! You are exhausted from giving but that is what happens during that season. On the other end, the good news is that the season does not last forever. 

Harvest time is coming! Let me remind you of this truth, as long as the earth endures, there will be harvest time as well. Now, let us take a deep dive into what that season looks like in case you need practical reinforcement. Have you ever had an experience where you were so overwhelmed by the generosity of others? You may have received gift after gift; someone sent you groceries or did something nice for your children. These gestures denote the season has changed. Harvest time is here!

In Nigeria, my second home, they say Christmas is not every day. The purpose of this is for you to understand transitions and seasonal shifts. If you are not careful, you can miss it. I want to encourage you, to just keep giving if you are in your seedtime season but if you are in your harvest time season, keep receiving. You deserve it. If you struggle with receiving, you want to work on it. One thing you never want to do is sabotage your blessings. Why? Because you put in the seeds, you did the sowing, you did the giving, it is just a matter of time before you experience the season that comes right after that, which is harvest time. 

Peace.

đź‘‘SHEBA