Queen, let’s talk heart-to-heart for a moment.
How many times have we found ourselves disappointed and frustrated because he didn’t show up the way we wanted him to? Maybe he didn’t affirm you. Maybe he didn’t plan the date. Maybe he didn’t text first. Or maybe he just didn’t read your mind (which, let’s be real, we halfway expected him to do).
Now, I’m not saying your needs aren’t valid. You deserve to be seen, pursued, protected, and loved deeply. Absolutely. But sis… are you giving those things to yourself first?
I’ve been there, expecting a man to speak life into me when I hadn’t spoken a kind word to myself in weeks. Expecting him to prioritize me when I wasn’t even prioritizing myself. Wanting him to pour into a cup I hadn’t even bothered to rinse out, let alone fill.
The truth is, we sometimes place an unfair weight on the men in our lives. We ask them to heal wounds they didn’t cause. We expect them to validate what we’re still unsure of. And sometimes, without realizing it, we want them to love us better than we love ourselves.
Let that sink in.
We want someone else to do for us what we won’t take the time, the patience, or the courage to do for ourselves.
But sis, that stops today.
This month, I want to lovingly challenge you:
Before you expect him to show up for you, ask yourself—Have I shown up for me?
Before you get mad that he didn’t plan something special, ask—When was the last time I treated myself to something beautiful, just because I’m worth it?
Before you demand he affirm your beauty, purpose, or value—Do I even believe it?
Because here’s what I know: when you walk in the fullness of your own love, care, and value, you stop demanding it from places that can’t sustain it. And what’s more? The right man will add to what’s already established, not become the foundation of it.
So Queen, let’s make June the month of intentional self-love.
Not spa-day surface love (although go get that massage too!), but deep, soul-nourishing, “I see you, I honor you” kind of love.
Journal. Pray. Set boundaries. Buy the flowers. Rest when you’re tired. Speak life over yourself in the mirror like you mean it. Become the woman who doesn’t just attract love, but embodies it.
You are already enough.
Start living like it.
With all the love,
Sheba
